cashcutie:

that girl u just called fat? she’s eatin some good fuckin food

that boy u laughed at for fallin asleep in class? he was up all night watching hentai

those kids who wear big dorky glasses? they don’t even need them wtf

those kids who never take out their headphones? they’re listening to Mitt Romneys autobiography. they paid $17.99 for it. they actually bought it.

(via ijmmypage)

roguesquirrel:

The Great Gatsby 2
… they thought he was dead…
……..but they rebuilt him…
…faster … stronger … smarter…
old sports die hard
In
The Great Gatling-Gunsby
West Egg is about to be Scrambled

(via ijmmypage)

waitress:*fills his glass with ice water*
me:*watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
me:you want my man or something?
her:wh-wat?
me:i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
me:I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
me:everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
him:aye calm down
me:nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy